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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29002587">You Mean When</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rosiebea/pseuds/Rosiebea'>Rosiebea</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Maze Runner (Movies), The Maze Runner Series - All Media Types, The Maze Runner Series - James Dashner</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>11!Verse, Camping, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, How Do I Tag, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mutual Pining, Newt (Maze Runner)-centric, Nightmares, Post-The Scorch Trials, Pre-The Death Cure, Protective Thomas, Sharing a Bed, Spooning, Stargazing, Stressed Thomas, Thomas Misses Chuck, Wishful Thinking, Worried Newt (Maze Runner), Worried Thomas (Maze Runner), newtmas - Freeform, thomas blames himself</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 11:29:18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,153</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29002587</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rosiebea/pseuds/Rosiebea</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Newt and Thomas have been travelling the scorch for days now ready to intercept Minho's train. Newt can tell Thomas is struggling often absent from meals and conversations. He thinks it's time to try and bridge the gap.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Minho &amp; Newt &amp; Thomas (Maze Runner), Minho &amp; Newt (Maze Runner), Minho &amp; Thomas (Maze Runner), Newt/Thomas (Maze Runner)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>105</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>You Mean When</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">


        <li>
            Inspired by

            <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/13874430">Talk Me Home</a> by <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/comebacknow/pseuds/comebacknow">comebacknow</a>.
        </li>

    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is very loosely inspired by Talk Me Home by comebacknow. You don't need to read it to understand but I would definitely recommend reading it if you haven't! I sort of imagine this happening during the time between the scorch trials and the death cure movie. I hope you enjoy!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Newt woke in the dim light to an empty bed across from him and the tent door agar with light streaming through it gently. He rubbed his face willing himself awake and stumbled out of the tent. Looking out over the campsite he could faintly make out the outlines of tents and burnt out campfires. It seemed so much more tranquil at night and Newt could almost pretend he was normal. That the world wasn’t in shambles and his friends weren’t constantly in danger. He shivered slightly as a breeze disturbed his body which was still warm from sleep and wondered how a place that was unbearably hot in the day could be so bone-chilling at night. Scanning the site again he finally saw him to the far right along the path. Only his left side was illuminated by a dingy lamp, but Newt could tell he wore a frown. The lines were practically part of his face nowadays. Newt sighed and began to hobble towards him. His leg had been troubling him lately with so much time in cramped cars and on uneven terrain. Newt came to a stop a bit away from him and paused.</p><p>
“Can’t sleep?” He asked his voice rough from disuse. Thomas didn’t even twitch at the words. Newt could now see Thomas more clearly. He was gripping Chucks figurine and twisting it absentmindedly while staring intently at the horizon without really seeing it. Newt lowered himself down beside Thomas gingerly and began to appreciate the camp once more. Thomas was obviously wrapped up in his head, so Newt gave him the time he needed by looking to the Sky. He could see the stars so clearly and he pondered about how vast the universe really was. He'd probably read about it in a book at some point because he could remember about their solar system in its milky way and the millions of others just like it but completely different in their conditions. It made him feel so small and insignificant and yet they were the only ones who were trying to stop wicked which was such an important task to many people. He wasn’t sure how much difference they were making outside of their own interests actually and wondered if it was a selfish mission to get Minho but even if it was, he couldn’t help but think of the other kids they could rescue and the butterfly effect. Taking down WCKD would definitely cause a huge wave. A while of nothing passed between them and Newt shifted putting his leg out in front of him. Thomas surprisingly broke the silence.</p><p>“You should start looking after your leg properly Newt, I don't want it giving up on you," Thomas said keeping his voice void of emotion.</p><p>"Ah, this bugging thing'll keep going. It's gotten me this far and its been fine." Newt said slapping his leg lazily.</p><p>"Well, we don't know that!" Thomas burst finally looking at Newt. He stared intently into Newts widened eyes for a second before turning back to the front. “Sorry...” he murmured. Thomas seemed like the type of person who wasn't good at doing nothing. He had proved countless time that he was an action first think later kind of guy which could be great in many situations. It had gotten them this far but now the days were full of planning and travelling and more planning and waiting and eating and sitting and thinking all of which required a lot of patients which was more Newts forte. He could see Thomas getting more and more agitated as time went on being left with too much energy and no outlet for it. Newt agreed that being left with your thoughts could do more harm than good especially when you’re talking about decisions all day. Although there were ‘adults’ around now, Thomas still held a lot of respect and authority. People seemed to think he knew the answers and while Newt would testify that Thomas often had a good approach, he was still just a person at the end of it all. Newt could see in Thomas’ eyes though that he was losing himself to the mission and it had been a while since he’d genuinely laughed, often leaving straight after meetings instead of sticking around to have a chat. Newt had been like that once.<br/>
“It’s just that so many are gone Newt, I see them all the time. Their faces smiling at me, their voices telling me they’re with me and then them being ripped from me one by one and I just-“ Thomas falls into silence looking down at the figure. He doesn’t have to say I can't lose you too because Newt can hear it clear as day in his words. Thomas focuses on the doll for a long time before looking up at the sky his mind going far away again. </p><p>“If I could go back…” he paused “I’d save them all.” The words seemed to not be for him, but Newt couldn’t stop himself from responding.</p><p>“Thomas,” Newt began softly “Chucks death wasn’t your fault. I don’t think it was anyone’s hell even Gally was out of his mind.” Newt knows Gally is a sensitive topic, but it just slips out. Even though Gally had done wrong he was just like them young and scared and he'd been Newts friend. Newt still grieves him along with the others. Thomas seems to understand but not absorb Newts’ words. Too lost in his own thoughts. “A lot of those people were like brothers to me so I know they will have a evaluated the risks. We needed someone like you to spark something within us. We'd got too comfortable living somewhere we were trapped. No one blames you, Tommy, it's not your fault.”</p><p>“But how do I live with it Newt? I’m the one they looked to and trusted and I led them to die. You’d all be safer if it weren’t for me.”</p><p>"You know that's a lie, Tommy. WCKD would have triggered an ending with or without you but I certainly believe you're the reason more people survived that day. Without you, we'd be dead or being harvested for enzymes. I don’t know about you, but I’d rather be free from that. Taking Wicked down? That’s my reason to live right now so you’d damn sure better help me or by god Tommy I’ll go by myself. It’s not your fault you daft sod.” To lighten his words Newt bumped his shoulders to Thomas’ and the ghost of a smile passed Thomas’ face before it went serious again.</p><p>“I know whose fault it was.” Thomas says lowly “It was those bastards at WCKD.” Thomas said echoing Newts word from a lifetime ago when the only worry was if Frypan had made stew or soup for lunch. Newt repressed a chuckle at how Thomas had begun adopting his mannerism as now was not the time. He was hit with such nostalgia that it felt like he couldn’t breathe. So many memories flashed before him of the maze, and a conversation at a campfire not so long ago with Thomas looking younger and less stricken. </p><p>“I want to make them pay Newt. Sometimes all I can think about is hurting them like they hurt me, like they hurt us. I get so mad it takes over to the point where I don’t know what to do with it.” Thomas looks to Newt again gaging the reaction his words earned. “I shouldn’t be thinking like that it should only be about Minho and it is but it’s like a disease.”</p><p>“You’re only human yeah? It’s not your responsibility to save anyone or right any wrongs you just feel the need to because you’re a good person. But people look up to you Tommy, they seek you out in times of uncertainty. I know you didn’t choose that but I also know you’ll use it to do the right thing. Saving Minho, that’s all I get out of bed for sometimes Tommy. It’s an important reason to go on living. Minho saved me once so not only do I owe him, but I need him back.”</p><p>Thomas seemed to mull over the words and for the first time in a while, his eyes flickered with that spark of rebellion Newt knew from him so well. Just as soon as Newt had seen it, it disappeared, and Newt shivered in the cold at its loss. Thomas looked so aged in this moment and so tired that all Newt wanted was to wrap him up and take the responsibility’s which weighed him down so heavily away even if only for a moment. The sky was beginning to lighten but it was still far from sunrise.</p><p>“Come on Tommy lets go back to bed hmm” Newt knew Thomas dreaded sleep for fear of nightmares just like himself, but they couldn’t afford to be sleep deprived.</p><p>"Might as well get it over with," Thomas said standing up. He offered his hand to Newt who took it and was pulled up with ease. He was reminded of Thomas' strength. Thomas was both mentally and physically strong and Newt admired him for that. They made their way back into the tent careful not to wake anyone and sat on Thomas' bed.</p><p>“Promise me you’ll try and sleep.” Newt murmured with a soft smile.</p><p>"Okay," Thomas said smiling back coyly. Newt stood and started to make his way to his bed.</p><p>“Newt?”</p><p>“Yeah” Newt whispered softly</p><p>“Will you stay with me?”</p><p>Newt hesitated for a moment wondering if it was right to want to jump into your friends’ bed. It may mean nothing to Thomas but Newt knew there was a piece of himself he’d been ignoring which said the way he cared for Thomas was far deeper than it should be. He felt his brow furrow as he shifted and looked to Thomas to say no, but his breath left him as he looked at Thomas. Thomas looked a teenager for once and deathly afraid. It was an emotion Newt had never seen so openly on him not even when he was facing a griever. Newt wordlessly crossed over and got under the covers Thomas lifted for him.</p><p>“Fine but don’t steal all the bugging duvet," Newt grumbled.</p><p>“Doovay” Thomas echoed amused and it was like the damn had cracked slightly. Thomas mirrored his former, carefree self and chuckled.</p><p>He felt Thomas’ laugh ghost across his neck and his hairs stood on end. He felt the breath again almost deliberate and his breath hitched. As he lay there tense he could have sworn he felt lips brush his shoulder but he squeezed his eyes shut knowing he’d imagined it.</p><p>"Relax Newt," Thomas spoke with the same amused tone. Newt tried but he was hyper-aware of Thomas' body heat and the thin gap between them. He felt Thomas place a reassuring hand on his arm and he couldn't help but relax slightly under the touch.</p><p>“Newt if it really makes you that uncomfortable you can go back to your bed I promise I won’t be offended.” Thomas murmured seriously pulling Newt to look at him.</p><p>“S’okay Tommy just not used to having your ugly mug so close to me." Newts deflection earned him a proper laugh from Thomas whose body shook the bed slightly. The more the bed shook the funnier it seemed and soon Newt and Thomas were choking back laughter in the dark of their tent. Their laughs began to die down and Newt couldn't help but grin back at Thomas' goofy face.</p><p>“C’mon now we really should sleep long day tomorrow.”</p><p>“Aren’t they always long?" Thomas said still smiling goofily. Newt rolled his eyes and turned back over shifting to get comfortable. He felt Thomas shift behind him several times before he huffed and shifted again.</p><p>“What in the bloody hell are you doing?”</p><p>“I’m trying to get comfy.”</p><p>“Well try harder, shank," Newt complained mockingly.</p><p>Thomas shifted again and then lay dead still. Newt was just drifting off when he felt an arm on his waist.</p><p>“Do you mind?” Thomas whispered disrupting the silence. The air felt thick with the weight of this decision but Newt was too tired to fight against it. Newt responded by shifting back into Thomas’ space and settling down again. Newt couldn’t help but wish this wasn’t irregular in their lives.</p><p>“If we get out of this in one piece… I want to wake up to you every day.” Newt omitted his mind drowsy with sleep. Thomas paused in shock before letting out a happy breath and pulling Newt even closer.</p><p>“You mean when, Newt.” </p><p>They slept like that the whole night and Newt dreamed of a world where he and Thomas lived in a small house with a dog and a mundane life of their own: together.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you for reading! I've been staring at this work for months but what more of a fitting day to post it then 3 years after tdc came out in cinemas (that's unbelievably weird to think about but we move). I hope you liked it :)</p></blockquote></div></div>
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